December 2010
1 post
Ground Zero
Nervy’s sixth birthday party went off without a hitch. True there were some rude children who defamed the choice of sandwiches and salads, but most children found a sandwich and/or side dish that they liked. A few ate only cake, and that was fine. No one was starving anyway.
The kids got bored occasionally, but adults and their friends could find ways to keep busy in the park. Since this...
August 2010
1 post
Nervy Turns Six
The white minibus stood outside Brooklyn Tech late Saturday afternoon. It was May 15, the day of Saturday rehearsals. The lights had held. I’d read Global Studies which was about the rise of Facism in Europe, and biology. The lighting had held. Even my own one act had gone smoothly. I remembered Kwaata’s sweaty embrace afterwards. She asked about my sister. I told her Ivanna had...
July 2010
5 posts
How I Stained My Sweater
The sweater was lavender, a lovely orchid shade. I thought it would look great with my olive drab parachute skirt. I packed the skirt for Friday night services. There was no way I was going to climb battens in a long skirt.
No production is ready to go a week before. This is the time when Murphy’s law sinks its teeth into things. I knew after school, I might get in a lot of study time if I...
Math at Houghton
Actually Dr. Angelus’ assignment started out pretty easy. I wasn’t dumb. My parents’ divorce had taught me that adults do not always put the needs and interests of children or teenagers first. They don’t neglect them either, but sometimes it’s take a number while we fight, or “we’re in love and stuff happens,” or there’s a big fight that...
Two Assignments
I got home from school Monday night to find Dad fixing Nervy’s, his, and my dinner. Nervyworm, my favorite Nervy worm had had her shower and sat in her robe and PJ’s looking, hungry, happy, and impatient. It was kind of a sweet look. RoAnn and Ivanna were in the office/study. This was as good a family tableau as it got.
I was glad when Dad did not mention the Blackberry and its...
Leaving Margolin
I was still awake Sunday morning when Dad arrived around 3am. The town car dropped him. He entered the office/study. I was the only one awake. I greeted him. I hugged him. He stank. He dropped his duffle in the center of the room and got out his pajamas. He went in the bathroom to change and wash his face and then went to sleep on the day bed which meant I had to go to sleep too.
I realized we...
Learning
Saturday would be my last chance to convince the kids in teen minyan at Lincoln Square to take the pledge and join Young Achievers. Fortunately the weather was cold enough for my red turtleneck which has not become too tight due to the fact that I am going to have small tits. None of the women in either of my families is big on top. In a way that is good.
The turtle neck was a bit short in the...
June 2010
5 posts
Power Bars and Canned Asparagus
It rained all Sunday night and into Monday morning. It was one of those light, steady, rains that sticks around forever. The subway stank of wet coats. The Calliope even stank of them. Eugenia asked me how I could drink cold soda with the rain just coming down. I told her that Dr. Pepper tasted good in all weather. Do I have to tell you that the rain made me yearn for snow. Snow is white. Snow...
Songs and Chants
I went to teen minnyan at Lincoln Square on Saturday morning, and Nervy had junior congregation. They call Nervy, Malka at the synoaguge or at least they try to. Malka, her middle name, is Hebrew. Her first name, like my own is a Latin translation of a character from Greek mythology, only Minerva is Athena, the Goddess of wisdom, Kore is Persephone, a demigod at best and a hapless deity’s...
Stars in their Heads
“Ooooooh yeah! It looks beautiful!” cried Chin from the front of the stage where she looked like she was about to fall off, and Chin stood there without a harness. A big, wide stage was after all not a batten high in the air. Chin stood before the silhouette of the New York skyline. It was just one silhouette but it had landed perfectly.
“OK, Kore, cue up the music and...
One of them At Least
Tuesday brought nothing but frustration. The day at school was OK. I guess I don’t remember it much because rehearsals were just awful. That I was not the only one having trouble, didn’t make it any better. My dance troupe as I came to think of it, had unusual lighting demands. I got the gel colors mixed right. I even replaced several gels on the battens without falling or further...
Goodbye "Step"
Dad left us Thursday morning. RoAnn, Minerva, Ivanna, and I all had counseling once a week, and Thursday was our day for that. Fortunately, the great Ms. Marmlestein, scheduled an evening session for us so that I could work on lighting crew, and Ivanna could spend time at the Douglas’. Lydia Douglas had returned from her sojourn in Vermont due to homesickness and the general “poor...
May 2010
6 posts
RoAnn's Verdict and All of our Verdict
Dad was getting supper readywhen I got home. “Come eat, Kore,” he greeted me. We had lentil stew and home made potato salad and red cabbage from a can.
“RoAnn is taking Ivanna out for ice cream tonight!” Nervy told me. “All day long Ivanna sat at her daddy’s table in the courtromm, but then RoAnn walked over. The judge asked what she was doing. She told the...
On the Boards and On the Pavement
Sunday night, Nervy and I practiced singing with the boys choir on our practice CD’s. There were no girls in the choir of singing children, but at Lincoln Square both girls and women could sing as part of a co-ed group. I’d heard about the women not being allowed to read the Torah in Orthodox synagogues from Dad. A rabbi in Coney Island confirmed it last fall. It did not matter to me...
First Lessons in Religious Education
Saturday morning before RoAnn left for Ithaca, I took Nervy Worm to Lincoln Square. The rabbi’s assistant at Larisa’s synagogue had recommended Lincoln Square and I had always intended to go. Nervy had a dark “uniform skirt” that she wore with a favorite sweater and I wore one of my synagogue skirts, so having the right clothes was not a problem.
The problem was once we...
Pictures and Secrets
Friday, I came home to find something new on the refridgerator door. It was a huge posterboard composite of all four of us kids. We were all there: Ivanna with her Capezios draped over her shoulders and wearing a lyotard like a shirt and confidence all over her brave face which was a mirror of her mother’s brave face, Nervy Worm in a clean shirt standing at the South Street Seaport on a...
No Deer on the Subway
I was a goo daughter, important student, skillful person, and remarkable older sister until Thusrday night. I came home from IS-179 where a teacher who was now head of the computer labs told I could not teach because I was a high school student and “only in ninth grade.”
I thought about buying another soda as I rode the subway back to Manhattan on the long trip from Queens. New York...
Returnings
I came to my senses hanging on to the boardwalk railing in Coney Island. I knew what I had to do and it was not going home, not empty handed either. Larisa watched me search the Fairway web site on the computer in her family’s living room while a younger brother looked on afraid I was a bad influence. Well I was, but not in the way he thought.
“Can you come with me to Red Hook to...
April 2010
5 posts
Rope Shreds
I let Larisa take me home Tuesday afternoon, after going through the motions with Nervy and my studies Monday. I needed a break. I needed to recharge. I felt as if I had left something behind on those third level battens Saturday night and I was not able to get it down. I felt as if Anthony had stolen something long ago before I ever met RoAnn, when he and RoAnn were still husband and wife and...
Anthony
Mom was the star speaker at the Young Achievers’ meeting the Sunday after American in Paris closed. After all, she was a Young Achiever’s heroine. All those years spent as a school administrator paid off in a weird way. And yes, I am proud of my mother. Yes, she wasn’t always the kindnest or most skilled parent. And yes, Kyril has his own problems and Nervy probably has hers. You...
The Show Must Go On
Saturday night, we blew two lavender high spots up on batten three. In the main lighting box, Micah m ust have bit his tongue. I got out the safety harness. Batten three had a weight limit of a hundred and seventy-five pounds. I weight a hundred and twelve. I am fearless. Once you fall, you either never climb again or you lose your fear.
I thought of grabbing spare bulbs and I tied on their...
Other Ghosts in my Dreams
Yes you can guess who those are, except they weren’t there. I had stopped dreaming or even thinking about the Fast Crowd in the week before American in Paris opened. Call it a full plate. I did Twitter on the subway and listened to their talk. I told Margolin and Davida Sidlow, who were in New York again, that I did not have time to see them. My dad would have said my life was elsewhere now...
Siblings in my Dreams
In the days running up to the opening of An American in Paris, it was Ivanna whom I saw in the shadows at the edges of the stage and in the empty auditorium. She stood there in her leotard, tights, with her Capezios draped over her shoulder or else on her feet. There were other girls with her, or at least I imagined it, but they were shadows following her, dancing partners, props.
I had nothing...
March 2010
6 posts
Only One is Innocent
“We’re going to Fairway,” RoAnn announced.
“What happened?” I asked.
“We’re going to Fairway. Hurry up.”
“I’m sorry. I was at Saturday rehearsals.” Boy did that sound lame.
“What happened to Ivanna?” I asked again.
“She went to North Carolina to be with her father. Now come on. We’re going to...
Almost Flying
Dad left us on Thursday. He went to parts unknown to work. He left before I did. He said he would be gone seven to nine days. He did not say he was going “now that things are stable.” Dad did not lie unless he had to. He did not have to lie this time.
At a dress rehearsal after school, I felt the first cramps. This was the first time in three months, I had menstruated. I remembered...
Battle of Wills
Saturday Dad had me pick out a buttercup squash at the Fairway. It would be one of the last winter squashes of the season. I also bought a big red cabbage. RoAnn came close to rolling her eyes at the contents of the cart. “We’re having squash with dinner tonight,” Dad announced.
“Who’s the we?” asked a sullen Ivanna who dropped her power bars into the shopping...
Sparks in Dry Grass
I got home from school Wednesday evening to find that Dad had all ready given my sister, Nervy Worm, dinner. I felt a bit angry about that. That was my job! Dad said he’d sit with me if I refilled the relish tray and put on water for tea. He asked how lighting crew went. Dad can be extremely sweet sometimes, and I can be…. Well use your imagination.
I told him we had had our first...
A New Deal for Ivanna
By Saturday night there was still no letter from Dad. We were at the three week mark. I don’t have to tell you that three weeks was a long time for Dad to be gone. We left for Ardsley early Sunday morning and took Piper and a couple of other Manhattan members with us. RoAnn gave the guests cracks at the CD player. Music meant no talk. Ivanna stared out the window. Nervy who was also with us...
Confrontation!
“You are suck a fucking dork mom!” cried Ivanna. I had returned an hour later than usual to find the big fight finally in progress. Ivanna and RoAnn were having it out in the study/office on Wednesday evening after I kidnapped Ivanna. Drama club had had its first complete run through of An American in Paris. The janitorial crew kept the school open because they loved Jovenas...
February 2010
7 posts
And her Little Mask Went with Her
Wednesday and Thursday I arranged the logistics for kidnapping Nervy with Larisa. Eguenia thought it quite admirable and proper the way I looked after my little sister. Larisa worried whether my stepmother would really let me take Nervy Worm all the way to Coney Island, but I insisted I had permission, so we set the trip for Sunday.
Meanwhile, Thursday night RoAnn received an email AND a follow...
Four Prisoners
RoAnn threw down the copy of Achieve! with disgust. We were in the study after Nervy and Ivanna had gone to bed on Monday night. That meant it was probably technically Tuesday morning, but my stepmother and I both keep late hours.
“This is not me you realize,” RoAnn told me. “De-Nile is a river,” I thought.
“First, except for grounding Ivanna and curtailing her...
Chain of Command
We reached Westchester Community College in Valhalla a bit after nine am on Sunday morning 28, 2010, and I was jonesing for a soda. I was not used to being deprived of my every morning Dr. Pepper. The good doctor takes care of me, just as I take care of Nervy, but this morning, I had left Nervy to her own devices or RoAnn and Ivanna’s ministrations and I was on my own as far as the good...
Pea Soup for Nervy Worm
Noblesse oblige was over. No one had to tell me that. I just knew that after activities, I had to take the subway back to Manhattan so I could eat dinner with Nervy and make her lunch. It felt strange to arrive at the Ardsley around 7pm and head upstairs.
I washed my hands and headed into the kitchen where RoAnn had purchased sandwiches from Kapors for she and her own daughter. I felt a twinge of...
Empathy Part II
Dad left at 4am on Saturday morning. I awoke around 7am and found RoAnn working in the study. She asked if I wanted to come on a bodega run.
“You still getting pastries for Ivanna?” I asked.
“Sure,” she answered. “No reason not to.” Like looking for my brother, Kyril, some weeks ago, locking her daughter in the apartment came naturally to RoAnn. Therefore,...
Empathy
I guess I must have had a sense of duty. I left the last part of my rough draft of my paper on a Connecticut Yankee unwritten and hurried back to the Official Teen Pavilion in time for the dinner break. The place felt old, and that is the best way I can describe it. Stale might be a better word though.
There were half a dozen kids milling around on the porch. Actually there were eight but the two...
Angry Kids Come and Go
I had a wakeup call for Thursday morning that also woke Hannah. “You know,” she groused at me. “You could be more consistent. You’re the only person I know who goes to a resort and wants to wake up before it gets light.”
I felt like telling Hannah….well you know the words. RoAnn is right about cursing so I’ll leave it to your imagination. It was my last...
Guests and Paid Employees
I overslept Wednesday morning so I had breakfast with the Sidlows. I drank a pot of fancy Oolong tea and realized I hadn’t even been swimming. I got to swim at the Teen Pavillion and then lay out in the sun reading smearing myself with sunscreen. Some time late last nights, the mosquitos had feasted on my arms leaving huge, red welts that made me feel defiled.
There was no sign of Mitchell,...
January 2010
14 posts
"Wait until tonight."
Parasailing was packed. It was behind building three on the dune rather than the lagoon side of Rialitee. Our group from the Official Teen Pavillion who came with a smiling Dylan numbered half a dozen: Mitchell, Jared, Jean, Melody, the pock marked girl, and myself. Mitchell wanted to try to sail and was disappointed that the line to put on a harness and get tied to a boat and dragged through the...
No Square Dancing!
Melody stood on the Christmas light decorated porch of the Teen Pavillion and stared out into the night. It was about 9pm on a Monday evening, Atlantic Standard Time. I don’t think there is Atlantic Daylight Time. Melody, pushed a shock of red hair away from her face and shook her head. She turned to Klarissa who was also not ready to go into the basement disco for an evening of official...
Politically Incorrect
The very tall and very macho boy was Mitch, not Mitchel. He heated his full name. My name is difficult to pronounce for a lot of people so I half understood. He came from a town near Harrisburg in Pennsylvania.
He was able to dive off the eighteen foot platform which I envied. I was still only jumping. Monday afternoon my concentration was off though I practiced hard to get my form right on the...
Conch Chowder
“This is a long walk,” Klarissa complained as we made our way to Building 4 and then down. It was always down. The Good Luck Caribbean Cafe was on Level S3. S is subterranean.
Klarissa ordered the jerk chicken sandwich and I had a bowl of conch chowder. We sat at a table in the back. “I thought you loved old people,” Klarissa began. “I mean you must love your...
Social Intelligence II
I did not eat breakfast or what passes for my breakfast Monday morning at the General Cafeteria. Instead, I stopped at the Patisserie des Quartres Vents to get a large Oolong tea to go and walked slowly with my prize down to the beach from the above ground levels of Building 2 to the Teen Pavillion. My watch said 8:56am. I was just going to make it.
I felt tired and out of sorts. I realized this...
Social Intelligence
I ate dinner at Kuo Chang’s. I decided to do this on the spur of the moment because I needed to eat. Kayla Sidlow had all ready left for the spa (one of several actually but I did not know that) along with all the girls except me. I just said I wasn’t interested. Marcus Sidlow had to go to dinner at a lounge where teens were not welcome so he asked me what I planned to do with myself....
Sets of Secrets
I managed to call discretely for my wakeup call. Hannah, Margolin, Davida, Kayla and two other girls who had followed them back from Tiqi were having a raging argument while they drank their late night smoothies around a table on the villa’s deck. I heard their voices trickle in through the half open sliding door.
Interspersed with their conversation a male friend of Marcus’ and...
Accidental Espionage
Saturday night, our villa at Rialitee Resort in Providenciales in the Turks and Caicos turned into an impromptu beauty parlor/fashion show. I thought everyone had gone through most of this before we went to the islands. After all, a trip to the islands in Feburary requires you to try on last summer’s clothes and still see if they fit, and to replace what does not fit with expensive, out of...
Low Hanging Fruit for Breakfast
I awoke and thought I was in my grandparents’ apartment just north of Miami Beach. This is Mom’s parents. Dad’s parents live in Scranton, but all the old people are alike. Most have fond school memories, and when a kid begins to show an interest in things academic, that is a bit of a pass into the adult world.
I remembered my Grandpa Wolfson who is a retired chemistry teacher...
Arrival in Darkness
Dad picked me up at school on Friday. This was the same Friday that somewhere else a bit earlier in the day, my mother had retrieved Kyril from the Fronicks. They were probably on the Thruway by now heading to the distant reaches of Herkimer County. Kyril was in trouble. Kyril deserved to be in trouble, but being in trouble still expletive deleted.
My duffle was in the back of the truck. No one...
Five Years
Dad watched over me in the laundry room Thursday night before I was scheduled to leave for the Caribbean and spend six days with the Sidlows and shadowy others. This was payback time for the subtle torture my family worked on Margolin Sidlow over Christmas vacation. I tried not to think about that.
“Did you finally buy your bra-zeers?” Dad asked. He had no problem with a daughter who...
Innocent Shadow and Shadowy Thoughts
Alvarez had not taken the Math A Regents because he took it last year in eighth grade and gotten a hundred. He was my height give or take a half inch in either direction and smelled faintly of scented soap, which when mixed with reasonably clean boy skin, was a good smell. I did not have Alvarez in my French class because he took Spanish. Yes, it was also his native language but not the written...
Prunes in the Relish Tray
Sunday night for supper, I put the pitted prunes that Nervy picked out in one section of the dividered dish which serves a kind of relish tray my little sister, Minerva (aka Nervy or Nervy Worm) likes better than deli salads. There was no more Hungry Man at supper. I think RoAnn gave the box of instant potatoes to the boys who came as a raiding party to pick up Kyril’s things.
RoAnn...